Texts as a form of communication sound like a great idea. Scratch that, they are a great idea. Revolutionary even. Yet the most humble SMS harbours a most evil of sides.
Introduced in the early nineties they were a great alternative to calling, which at the time cost an arm and a leg to make.
They were fast and convenient originally limiting you to 140 characters. It was concise and beautiful and most likely was where the idea behind Twitter came from.
They became such a powerful social tool for humanity that it’s spawned a whole new language called Textese. Maybe one of the most annoying languages in the world. It’s literally polluted every aspect of language.
But Textese isn’t what makes texts evil. What makes them inherently evil is the thing that made them so great in the first place. Their brevity.
The problem with having a text conversation is that something so brief and easy to send means they can be totally misconstrued. I’m sure the amount of relationships that have been destroyed by SMS’s is up there in the millions.
But having said that, they now form an integral part of our lives. And they can be fun. But most definitely in an evil way.
Going to the cinema has been transformed thanks to the power of 3D film. What used to be the preserve of the Imax has now been rolled out to cinemas all over the country.
But what’s all the fuss about? Surely it doesn’t enhance the quality of a movie that much. Well, having just seen Avatar, I can definitely confirm that it does.
It’s not that the movie becomes better but the detail and action is so much more real. You enter a suspension of reality far quicker and feel totally absorbed.
The technology works by placing two ordinary cameras next to each other to replicate the human eyes, then layering the images so it can be translated to the screen. All very exciting stuff.
And things are going to get even more interesting. This year Sky are releasing their Sky 3D box which means being able to view TV shows in 3D.
However this presents a small problem. To make the images appear before our eyes we need a pair of 3D glasses. Though gone are the days of red and green lenses. New technology allows them to be clear meaning you can still view the rest of the world normally.
However I still can’t believe we’re going to be made to sit in our living rooms with pairs of glasses on. If someone isn’t already doing it then they should start designing designer 3D glasses. Cash in on what will undoubtedly be the next big thing.
If you haven’t seen Avatar yet then I thoroughly recommend going to get a glimpse of the future. And would somebody please design me a cool pair of glasses!
When washing hand s in a bathroom it’s nice to be able to dry them. Obviously. Most preferential are those paper towels yet thanks to all the environmentalist they don’t seem to have them many places any more. Then there’s the humble hand dryer which takes too long and is generally a bit crap. Until now.
This may sound a bit random and it probably is. My fascination probably indicates some mild form of OCD but we’ll continue anyway.
With the onward struggle of modernisation whereby it is better to have a machine do something for you than you having to do it yourself, the hand dryer gained popularity. It made sense for businesses as it’s so low maintanence. You don’t have to physically restock towels.
But let’s face it, they were always a bit crap. They were slow and it normally felt like a granny with emphysema was wheezing on your hands. And they were really loud and you had to hit the big silver button.
But that was until Dyson came along with their Dyson Airblade. I don’t know if you’ve used one yet but they are truly amazing. You put your hands in to the bottom and slowly pull them out. ‘Blades’ of air scrape the water off your hand leaving them completely dry in 10 seconds. That rivals ye olde paper towels.
Unfortunately though, this means that whenever I see one I have a mild fit of hysteria and have to point it out to all and sundry. It may even influence wher I go just so I can use one. Maybe I should get one for my bathroom. No that’s ridiculous.
But I do recommend them. If you really, really, really want a go then you can try them in the Whole Foods on High Street Kensington. Go play.
You know those Sunday’s where you’re too hung over to move. Or even those Monday’s, Wednesdays and Fridays. Cooking is out of the question but having to talk to someone to get take away is equally as impossible. Thanks to the internet there’s now an answer.
It comes in the form of 2 sites. Hungryhouse.co.uk and just-eat.co.uk. All you need do is go on the site and type in your post code to see all the open take aways in your area then place an order.
Thanks to the internet there’s no more rummaging for a crappy menu leaflet or having to deal with somebody who came to the UK in the back of a lorry and who’s knowledge of English only extends to what’s on the menu. And barely that.
Maybe even better, there’s even the facility to pay by card so you no longer have to run to the cash point to get cash or face having your card used be the Nepalese Spice Shack to buy a new plasma TV and luxury holiday.
But best of all is the fact that they allow customers to review the restaurants when they’ve ordered from there. Normally I wouldn’t recommend reviews but if it has a high rating and 600 people have bothered to say it’s the best pizza they’ve ever had then it’s probably gonna be ok.
So next time you can’t be bothered to cook then get online and order in a more efficient and civilised way. All hail the internet!
Why is it that girls don’t like video games? This was the question that cropped up at dinner the other night and prompted a raucous debate.
The first thing that was said is that no girl likes any games but this is untrue. Games like The Sims were played by both girls and guys. People at the table said that the reason girls liked The Sims was because they got to build house, fill them with crap and make little families.
But again, this doesn’t get to the bottom of things. Games like Guitar Hero are played by girls too. Maybe it’s because it’s semi musical and girls wanna be rock stars too.
The games that everyone thinks girls don’t like are the shooting games or first person shooters. But I have theory why they don’t like them. When girls ever play these games they are surrounded by guys who have all played the game by themselves and gone through the tutorials.
Therefore they know how to play. A girl who’s never played from the beginning will just be frustrated. So in the interest of fair play and even science we need to get girls playing games from the beginning. That way, everyone can play with each other nicely in a virtual world. Game on.
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