willc.me

You know those Sunday’s where you’re too hung over to move. Or even those Monday’s, Wednesdays and Fridays. Cooking is out of the question but having to talk to someone to get take away is equally as impossible. Thanks to the internet there’s now an answer.

It comes in the form of 2 sites. Hungryhouse.co.uk and just-eat.co.uk. All you need do is go on the site and type in your post code to see all the open take aways in your area then place an order.

Thanks to the internet there’s no more rummaging for a crappy menu leaflet or having to deal with somebody who came to the UK in the back of a lorry and who’s knowledge of English only extends to what’s on the menu. And barely that.

Maybe even better, there’s even the facility to pay by card so you no longer have to run to the cash point to get cash or face having your card used be the Nepalese Spice Shack to buy a new plasma TV and luxury holiday.

But best of all is the fact that they allow customers to review the restaurants when they’ve ordered from there. Normally I wouldn’t recommend reviews but if it has a high rating and 600 people have bothered to say it’s the best pizza they’ve ever had then it’s probably gonna be ok.

So next time you can’t be bothered to cook then get online and order in a more efficient and civilised way. All hail the internet!

Looking out the window this morning the only word I could come up with to describe it was schizophrenic. Lashing rain, blowing wind and glorious sunshine within the space of minutes. Wondering what to wear I realised that fashion isn’t suited to adverse weather or even comfort at all.

First let’s look at the cold. Feeling cold is the worst feeling ever. In fact, the only thing worse is feeling ill when your trendy leather jacket hasn’t protected you against the elements. But it comes down to the fact that unhidden layers make you look fat.

Then there’s summer. It being hot in summer we like to complain about how roasting we all are. Yet while complaining we’re dressed in skinny jeans, tracksuits and suit trousers. For some reason, shorts on guys don’t look good. We have hairy legs and knobbly knees. So it’s better to suffer.

Then there are all year round discomforts that women endure. Things like heels. We as modern humans look back at the days when corsets were worn and think it’s barbaric and it would be interesting to know how stilettos will go down in history.

So in the end I decided to wear my massive Timberland jacket to keep warm and dry. If there’s a designer out there with enough power, turn the tide and put comfort first!

Caffeine is possibly the most consumed drug in the world. Throughout history, we have built society around it and it is regarded as normal or even desirable to drink the bean.

Coffee was around and active at the heart of our society long before Starbucks was even conceived of. The first great gentlemen’s club (the posh ones where men with white hair meet as opposed to a nightclub or strip bar) Whites, was named after a man named Blanco who ran coffee shops in Renaissance London. Coffee was expensive and a preserve of the rich. It therefore became a drink associated with money and even power.

Coffee, which was until recently one of the few forms of caffeine, has been revered as a commodity. An expensive and sought after drug.

That was until Starbucks came along. At the end of the last century the coffee chain sweep across the world, a success of capitalism. It put caffeine at the heart of society once more. Their earthen coloured walls and comfy sofas became a place meet and socialise once more. It all paints a beautiful and romantic picture.

That is until you come to energy drinks. Energy drinks aren’t quite the little perk that coffee is. It’s the crack of caffeine. Relentless, Rockstar and Red Bull all leave nothing to imagination with their titles. They are for people who cane it. But they definitely work.

It’s obvious why people have grown to consume and love caffeine. It keeps you awake and the more we do and the harder we push ourselves in life the more we feel like we need an energy boost. But it doesn’t actually work like that. The low after the high is worse for you and a dependence on caffeine will mean you feel tired on days that you don’t drink it.

Sitting on the bus this morning in a semi-dazed haze of alcohol fuelled pain a van caught my eye out the window. It was a rubbish removal van that was pristine. It’s red tipper polished to a gleaming shine, it’s white cab positively glowed. The company was called “Any Junk?” and the sight of their pristine little van set off a train of thoughts in my mind about society in general.

This little van for removing unwanted rubbish became a microcosm of society in my mind as the bus followed it. It may seem obvious but we live in a truly aesthetic society. That van is used to throw junk in the back of and therefore, you would imagine that it would be dirty. A few streets later I saw an old van being used to remove rubbish from a shop renovation that was battered and dented. One that you may have expected to see a few years ago.

So what, it was a clean van? But it’s more than that. People have sat in a meeting and decided that the companies vans would be cleaner than any other. And because of that they will receive more business than their rivals and be a more successful company.

The same thing was done by Pimlico Plumbers. They manage to charge almost double what their rivals do, simply because their plumbers are smarter and their vans are clean and pristine. Each even has it’s own personalized number plate that say stuff like “drain” and “u bend”. It’s the little touches that make the product better and more successful.

And if plumbers and junk removal people are doing you know that everyone else is. At the end of the day it’s more pleasing to the eye and makes everything a little smarter. And that’s pretty cool.

Why is it that girls don’t like video games? This was the question that cropped up at dinner the other night and prompted a raucous debate.

The first thing that was said is that no girl likes any games but this is untrue. Games like The Sims were played by both girls and guys. People at the table said that the reason girls liked The Sims was because they got to build house, fill them with crap and make little families.

But again, this doesn’t get to the bottom of things. Games like Guitar Hero are played by girls too. Maybe it’s because it’s semi musical and girls wanna be rock stars too.

The games that everyone thinks girls don’t like are the shooting games or first person shooters. But I have theory why they don’t like them. When girls ever play these games they are surrounded by guys who have all played the game by themselves and gone through the tutorials.

Therefore they know how to play. A girl who’s never played from the beginning will just be frustrated. So in the interest of fair play and even science we need to get girls playing games from the beginning. That way, everyone can play with each other nicely in a virtual world. Game on.