willc.me

Since the dawn of Big Brother, we’ve had to endure long running reality TV shows through stretches of the year. Obscure, unpleasant people are paraded in front of the nation to be ridiculed by the press. The press who fill their rag sheets with endless pictures of next years Heat and OK! victims. But X Factor seems to be taking it to the next level.

It’s pretty grim that these reality TV shows should be so successful. It’s like the lottery and that entices people. If that horrible creature who crawled out of Scunthorph or wherever they’re from can be singing live on national television then it could be you.

What makes it worse with this X Factor is that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to avoid it. Not only is it on TV all the time and you have to overhear mundane conversations between chavs on the bus, but the press seems to be endlessly harping on about the X Factor House.

The press won’t publish the address as they don’t want to add to the mayhem that’s already happening there. Hundreds of teens have descended, leaving in their wake mountains of pizza boxes, cans and assorted teenage rubbish. It seems to be happening every evening and the press are milking it for all their worth.

First it was the turn of the residents. The Chinese Ambassador, Madam Fu Ying, made an official complaint to the British government. Undoubtedly it interrupted her Ferrero Rocher orgies. Then other residents complained when the 18 year old twins, who Simon Cowell has admitted hating, danced in the window in their boxers.

Then, the story was that the council have shut the road to through traffic over safety fears for the hordes of children who have turned up over half term. The police have to maintain a presence to keep order. The police were also called when teenage girls flashed some of the contestants.

And apparently its actually getting dangerous there are so many teens there. One teen who had been punched in the head said, “It’s really aggressive, but I love it. It makes you want to come down even more.” No doubt the punch had left her without any brain cells at all.

But, if you want to go down there, maybe over Halloween to trick or treat the address is:

15 West Heath Avenue,
Golders Green,
NW11 7QS